Fuck appropriateness.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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