$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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