Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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