Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
