We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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