she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
