As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
