I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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