Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
