Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
