put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
