her vagine was all disorganized.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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