you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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