Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
