"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Rumble strips road head = magical
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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