This girl is more easily done than said...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
