Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize