S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize