I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
