a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
