summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
