Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
