The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
