Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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