Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
