Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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