It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I want to make a zoo with you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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