i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
