So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
