i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
