I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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