i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
