and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
