i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize