I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
