He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
everyone is single if you try hard enough
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
