i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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