Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize