Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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