Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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