Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
