i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize