my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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