Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
