Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
this hospital has no fireball
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
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