My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
