So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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