Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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