This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
