just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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