I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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