Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
