Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
