My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
