arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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