you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
