how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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