Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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