I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
