the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
