hotel room ftw
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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