nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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