she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
