Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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