one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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