why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
