What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I look better un-naked...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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